Many people tend to see marriage through rose tinted glasses. While it can be beautiful, it still has its challenges that every couple needs to face. Some can be difficult, but overcoming these can only strengthen your relationship.
If movies were the only basis for marriage, then everything might seem magical. What most movies with their happy endings won’t show you are the many challenges that couples need to acknowledge, face, and overcome together. At first blush, these don’t seem too critical, but don’t be fooled; in Utah, competent marriage counselors are ready to offer their help to couples who are experiencing marital troubles. A marriage counselor could help you deal with these newly-wed issues.
When a couple is still dating, the idea of living together seems wonderful. It’s something that a couple longs for, but living together can be different from what they thought it would be. It’s one thing to spend time with someone occasionally. It’s a different thing to do it every day. Part of the challenge lies in reconciling the fact that, for the longest time, you both lived as unique individuals each with their quirks. When those clash over time, it can get vicious. A good way to deal with this is to spend time before moving in to discuss the nuances of home life you may or may not like.
Another common challenge that sometimes does need the intervention of a marriage counselor is finances. It’s one thing to set aside money for some big trip or event occasionally, but it’s another thing entirely when you’re talking about day to day finances and savings. Problems arise when purchases get in the way of your financial goals as a couple. You need to approach your finances with a plan that will help you fulfill your goals.
Accepting the reality
Just as serious as the others are the occasional clashes of reality versus the ideal. There is always a tendency to idealize our partners and even the marriage. They start the most beautiful, most loving, most wonderful, most understanding people in the world—at least in your head. The truth is, you and your partner are both human beings. Down the line, both of you are going to stumble, slip, and fail. When that happens, how you respond is critical. Many couples make the mistake of “keeping it all in”. They feel that to share their frustrations and gripes with their partners might cause tension. But the opposite is true; if you’re not communicating, then you guys are in trouble. Talk things out and always share what frustrates you.
Communication is the biggest key to a healthy and happy relationship. If you aren’t communicating, then you’re building up a lot of unhealthy baggage that can weigh down your relationship and even cause it to crumble. While it’s best to avoid things reaching this point, there’s no reason to despair if you are having trouble with your marriage. There are many great, well worn, and highly experienced counselors who can help you both through. You have to reach out and be open to dialogue and help.